last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize