in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
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Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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