The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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