god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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