It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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