apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize