He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize