It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
accomplished twins. life is a go
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
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She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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