sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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