I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
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Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I fill condoms, not promises.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My bed smells like the plague
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