You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize