Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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