You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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