Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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