Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize