I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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