And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize