I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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