You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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