i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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