We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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