I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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