so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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