there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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