so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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