i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just pee around me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize