Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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(415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser. http://tfl.nu/daye

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(419): View more from Ohio

It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.

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(419): It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America. http://tfl.nu/twjg

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(316): View more from Kansas

Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.

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(316): Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. http://tfl.nu/zubg

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(734): View more from Michigan

So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

(810): View more from Michigan

You're 20.

(734): View more from Michigan

IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

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(734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt

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(315): View more from New York

it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.

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(315): it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right. http://tfl.nu/vsow

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

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(401): I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants. (401): Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean. http://tfl.nu/96j7

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(858): View more from California

Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"

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(858): Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS" http://tfl.nu/1s89

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(+61): View more from Australia

Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.

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(+61): Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking. http://tfl.nu/00hi

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(240): View more from Maryland

I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy

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(240): I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy http://tfl.nu/3nw9

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(319): View more from Iowa

THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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(319): THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ http://tfl.nu/h11a

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(851): View more from

Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

(522): View more from

Don't break up.

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(851): Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th. (522): Don't break up. http://tfl.nu/7rul

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there

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(501): Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there http://tfl.nu/0rjt

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.

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(608): Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice. http://tfl.nu/it3i

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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(724): The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent. http://tfl.nu/afyt

Replies (12) Good night (1447) Bad night (567)
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(310): View more from California

thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.

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(310): thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones. http://tfl.nu/qrwe

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