I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize