I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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