We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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