Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize