It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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