I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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