I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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