we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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