You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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