just come out here and I will go home with you...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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