my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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