Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize