Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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