Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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