can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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