how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
MIDGETS
????
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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