remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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