ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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