a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize