I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize