does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize