margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
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and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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