Jerry, you need to find god
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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